President Obama recently spoke about the BP oil spill in the gulf and said, “I am furious at this entire situation, because this is an example where somebody didn't think through the consequences of their actions." I share these sentiments and would like to borrow his exact words for my feelings over something equally as tragic; PGA Tour television broadcasts. If you don't mind, I would like to rant.For the past several years, I've pretty much restricted all of my golf viewing to the four major championships. Many a week have gone by where someone would ask me if I had seen that shot on the weekend, referring to some nobody's miracle shot in some run-of-the-mill tournament like the John Deere 'Classic' or the Greater Wherever Open. My standard response has been, "No, I don't really watch golf outside of the majors." Of course they always ask why, and after catching some of this week's "Bridgestone World Golf Championship brought to you by Office Depot from the Firestone Golf Club, a Presentation of the Conglomeration that Brings you godaddy.com and Ford Motors," I remembered why.
When you're watching the four majors, you are blessed with two things; the best golfers in the world and the fewest commercial interruptions. The average golf tournament on the other hand has become completely unwatchable. I turned on the TV yesterday morning and came across the WGC Bridgestone Invitational, and while this tournament may have a similarly strong field to the four majors, it is such a contrived, corporate event, it's impossible to pique much interest.
To begin with, the four majors exist for a reason. The Masters was designed to simply host the best golf tournament in the world, featuring the world’s best golfers (mission accomplished). The US and British Opens are National Championships, while the PGA is the golfers' own Championship. The Zurich Classic in New Orleans, (which isn't a classic in the same vein as, say, Led Zeppelin’s music), is held because a company called Zurich wanted some ad time and the City of New Orleans was looking for some economic stimulus, while the PGA Tour was looking for a raison d’être. While that's inspirational, it doesn't really have the same cache as a National Championship and it never will.
The second problem with most PGA Tour events, and by far the most annoying problem is the saturation of corporate name dropping. It's absolutely unbelievable. The gold standard for a golf broadcast is of course, the Masters, which boats only four minutes of commercials per hour of coverage. Yes, that means they’re restricted to covering the tournament, which means I get to watch almost every shot without suffering through an endless parade of commercials (which are no longer necessary for bathroom breaks or beer runs thanks to the PVR). While the other three majors have more commercials than the Masters, they have far less than the average tournament, which can average over twenty-five minutes of commercial time per hour! However, corporate name dropping doesn’t end with commercials.
First there’s the leaderboard, which during most tournaments is brought to you by somebody. "And now let's take a look at The Honda Classic leaderboard, brought to you by the good people at Invesco...leaders in the world of investing." Wow that's clever, they 'brought' us the leaderboard, and they're leaders themselves! Brilliant! I'm thankful for the good folks at Invesco for doing us this favour, or we might never know who was actually in the lead. Then there are the little side segments, which are supposed to be of interest to a golfer, but really only to throw in a few sponsor names and avoid showing additional golf coverage. By these, I mean things like the "Know the Rules with washed up pro 'xyz', brought to you by Goodyear," segments, where Roger Maltbie or David Feherty explain to us how to drop a ball from a hazard without receiving any further penalties. That's fascinating, as I only hit it into five or six hazards each round, and am completely unfamiliar with this process. Not only does the segment bore me to death, it also usually ends with, "While we were away, Phil and Tiger both holed out for double-eagle, then dropped the gloves to determine who's shot was better. Now let’s take a look at the leaderboard brought us by…"
So yesterday morning, I turned the TV on around 10 in the morning and saw that Tiger had already finished and the leaders had not yet teed off. This meant there wasn't really anything to show, so the cameras decided to glue themselves to such dynamic personalities as Jim Furyk and Ben Curtis (the Statue of Liberty, who has more personality than ol' loopy, hadn't teed off yet). Spellbinding television to say the least. Everything was going fine, I was maintaining my sanity for the most part, until the clock struck 10:28 in the morning, and I was broad-sided with a fancy graphic announcing the golfnow.com Shot of the Day! Let me set the record straight; there were still 20 golfers who hadn't even teed off yet and Jim Furyk, who hit the SHOT OF THE DAY on the 2nd hole, was now on the 3rd hole. By my rough count, the field still had 500 holes left to play! 500! How, or rather why, do you determine the shot of the day at 10:30 in the morning, when half the goddamn field isn't even on the golf course yet!?
In what can only be described as Krakatoa-style rage, I turn the TV off, vowing never to tune into another professional golf broadcast until the next major (which happens to be Thursday's first round of the PGA, but after that not until April!). Fuming, I head out to run a few errands. Returning to the house around 3:30, I turned the TV on (my usual bodily function upon getting home), which was still on the same channel as before, and still showing golf. Now I'm not making up what I'm about to describe, this is what actually happened. As I prepared to change channels, and maintain my vow of avoiding non-major golf, it was announced it was time for the Prudential SHOT OF THE DAY! This golf coverage has been so riveting, it needed two shots of the day! I threw up a little. Whoever came up with having two of those should get a promotion. "Let's have two shots of the day. The coverage is so mundane, nobody could possible watch for six hours; nobody will ever know."
I understand that the four majors have much stronger TV audiences than any other tournament, so the need for additional sponsorship isn't as large. But perhaps these other tournaments would be a little easier to watch if they weren't so laden with commercials, little blurbs about nothing, and constant looks back at last year’s event.
Absolutely flabbergasted, I changed the channel, and fired up the PVR to sooth myself with some footage of this year's Masters Tournament. Ahhh.....green jackets and a sponsorless leaderboard. Hello friends...and welcome to another golf tournament you can actually watch without poking your eyes out.
/end rant.
- TheRev
twitter.com/TheRevBW
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