Fantasy Football Lesson

As we near the halfway point of the NFL Fantasy season, I thought it was time I pass on some of the many lessons I’ve learned over the years concerning the obsession that is fantasy football. Or more specifically, the lesson I learned this passed weekend, when, thanks to a healthy mix of misfortune, bad luck, and million-to-one odds, I lost my match up to one of the most hapless opponents to ever take to the simulated field.

I was in rural Ontario this past weekend, where I was attending a wedding. The small Inn we stayed at, while quaint, seemed to be stuck in 1997, or maybe 2003. Either way, they didn’t have Wi-Fi or any other Internet access, nor did anywhere else in town, which consisted only of a Home Hardware, a ‘convenience’ store whose shelves resembled those of a Soviet-era deli, and a pizza/coffee house, which only seemed to be open for about four hours each evening.

Knowing I would be away all weekend, I had set my line-up for the weekend, and planned to make any changes on Sunday morning, knowing that everywhere on earth has Internet access. I was even able to get free Wi-Fi in the middle of the Sahara Desert this past January. Okay, not the middle, but in Abu Simbel, in Southern Egypt. It’s still in the desert, and isn’t remotely close to anything and only has about 2,000 people. And it’s in Egypt, which is quite frankly, a little backwards. But they were still surfing the web.

Everything would have been all right, until Darren McFadden, Raiders’ running back, was forced to sit with an apparent hamstring ‘injury.’ I don’t know what a hamstring is, but it was fine on Friday. Okay, he was actually 50/50 to play, but I left him in before leaving Calgary, knowing I could always change my line-up at any time on Saturday or Sunday, thanks to technologies so basic, even Somalia has them. Long story short, I didn’t get any points from this draft dodger, and ended up losing my match-up by a measly eleven points, which I could have easily made up with any number of players from my bench; my team is that deep.

I contacted my opponent, who we’ll call 'Justin R.', and explained my case; that my team is better than his, I’m a nicer person than he is (I once saw him kick a puppy) and that I deserved to win more than him and I shouldn’t be faulted for things that are out of my control. I asked him to concede the match, knowing these facts, so the integrity of the league could remain intact. He disagreed saying that was ‘the price (I) paid for jet-setting around the country.’


So the lesson is, don’t sign up for Fantasy leagues filled with unreasonable jerks.


-TheRev


twitter.com/TheRevBW

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